Popular belief has bisexuals running around dating anyone and everything: a bondage party with Sven on Monday, an L Word marathon with Alice on Tuesday. Lather, rinse, repeat. But honestly, what with our busy David Bowie-movie-watching schedule (#4), who has the time? This is why bisexuals are the best multitaskers you’ll ever meet. Not only can we combine our dates with Sven and Alice into one (#6), but we can Google (#2) directions to The Love Dungeon while on the phone with Chris, lining up our dates for next weekend.
This ability to multitask is not limited to dating life, however. G-Chat with a bisexual and you’ll never know that she’s having simultaneous G-versations with her boss, her mom, and her ex, all while making guacamole and watching Alias.
For this reason, bisexuals are unsurprisingly drawn to objects that represent multitasking at its finest. The skort?
While no self-respecting, Go Fug Yourself-reading bisexual would actually wear one, it’s pretty much the epitome of bi-purpose. Casual, but dressy! You can ride a bike in it, and then go to church! Or, whatever. There are many examples of items that allow you to maximize your efficiency: the spork, the belt that doubles as restraints, the TV/VCR combo. Bisexuals totally drool over the iPhone: you can email! Call people! Write novels! Look at YouPorn! What we really need, then, is a device that stops and rewinds time, thereby allowing us to be in two places at once, and, well, have our cock and eat it too. (Sorry.) Apple, get on it.
stuff bisexuals like 