#13 The Wild West

31 08 2008

Brokeback Mountain is not a movie about gay people, and there are no gay people in it. There. I said it. Despite what you may have read in the many reviews that have come out about this new cowboy feature film, Brokeback Mountain is a bisexual picture. Why can’t film reviewers say the word “bisexual” when they see lead characters with sexual and romantic relationships with both men and women?  I am unaware of a single review of Brokeback calling the leads what they are–a sad statement on the invisibility of bisexual experience and the level of biphobia in both the mainstream and gay media.

Now for the best thing about Brokeback Mountain : Jake Gyllenhaal plays a bottom.” – Amy Andre, American Sexuality Magazine

No this post isn’t about bi-politics, but readers, don’t you worry it’ll happen.  For now we here at SBL are easing y’all in with the fun parts of bisexuality (and believe us, it’s like Doublemint up in here!). This post is about one of the many places that bisexuals like, The Wild West. Yeehaw!!

Where else, but the Wild West,  can two “straight” men be left alone to explore their more curved feelings?  It’s not that the dusty plains or cold nights turned Ennis and Jack toward each other, it’s that they didn’t have the rest of society whispering behind their backs about “fairies” and “Texas”.  Brokeback Mountain came along and the mainstream media rode that horse hard; two hot men love each other? No, no, it must have been lust – gay lust. Meanwhile the gay community went wild with smug, limelight catwalking, and countless hours of reminiscing about the good old bare-backing days. (Dear gay readers, nothing but love, pure, catty love.)

The Wild West is home to countless bi-satisfying stories and hobbies.  There are craft hobbies, to keep our fidgety hands busy, like tying lassos, making tin-can stoves, and (a bi-fave) hog-tying games.

The Wild West was also the place where women in America were first given the opportunity to show their stuff and prove that they’re as needed, strong, and bright as men.  The men were out driving doggies across ravines or wrestling in the dust all day and the women had to stay home and shoot jaguars away from the soft flesh of their children or dig fence post holes.  From my extensive research these women of western wiles did all this while looking might fine!

The Wild West was not only a place of equality, for the settlers, and freedom from stifling sexual mores, it was also the place where the existence of bisexuality as a known reality or option was already present.  The American Indians had long acknowledged a third sex, or Two-Spirited persona; a person attracted to both sexes:

“The Two-Spirited persona comes to us from the American Indians. Within American Indian tribes, a third gender was considered natural.  That spirit was chanelled to shamanistic practices, warrior activities, weaving, folk medicine and herbalism.  An American male nurse who visited an Apache reservation reported being surprised at a proud mother who came in to visit the priest and told him, ‘My 16-year-old son is attracted to other men.  We need to arrange for him to be initiated with the Medicine men.’

Of the 250 or so Native languages still spoken in the United States, at least 168 of them have been identified as having terms for people who are not considered male or female.” – Angie Bowie, Bisexuality

Wow, not only were they acknowledged, but that quote provides further proof into the relentless activity of bisexuals over time: shaman, warrior, weaving, folk medicine, herbalism…whew! How will he have time for dance parties and poetry readings?

There are two other things about the Wild West that appeal to bisexuals: the mythology of it and the fashion.  I’ll get into the former point some other time, but the fashion simply must be addressed now.  If there’s one thing bisexuals like (haha, As If!!) it’s playing dress up.  Any excuse to bend our wardrobe to our moods and we’re on it like flies on horse apples.  The Wild West is home to countless fun fashion play from lacey fringe:

to the beloved Western Shirt:

There’s also the chaps, boots, hat and then the riding accessories.  Ropin’ broncos isn’t just for macho bragging rights folks, no! You think those “straight” men aren’t thinking about how those old jeans make their butts look or how that hat accentuates their strong jaw lines?  You bet they are! Any cowboy worth his pork n’ beans isn’t going to be caught dead without the appropriate wear at the local rodeo, to wit:

Let us examine this picture here: It’s sunny and probably in a South/South Western state, where the normal clime is hot and dry.  This guy is sporting layers and he may tell you it’s to prevent horrendous ring rash from getting bucked off the angry bull he’s riding, but I don’t buy it.  To him I might say, “And what of the fringed chaps Mr. Cowboy? Is that going to throw the bull’s eye off course and keep him from goring you?”  I’m calling it, this guy…well let’s just say he wouldn’t say “no” to Jack’s pleas of “keeping warm” either.

And finally the reverse cowgirl.  A consistent bi-favorite named after one of our favorite spots to visit and dream of

Yipee-ki-yea mother fuckers.




2 responses

18 09 2008
#16: Television super-duos « stuff bisexuals like

[…] mystery to solve. Bisexuals are busy people, what with their brunches to run off to and cowboys to hogtie. You have to get and keep their attention with a compelling storyline. Or at least one with […]

20 03 2009
Amy Andre

Thanks for the quote! I love your blog!

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