#7: Unintentional Porn

31 07 2008

The pictorial equivalent of a Freudian slip, unintentional porn is a much lauded internet sensation and has been known to show up anywhere from children’s toys to sports outtakes to rock formations.

Bisexuals especially appreciate unintentional porn, not only for its double entendre and heteroflexibility (see Puns), but because it allows us the rare opportunity to express the dirty thoughts/blog comments/casserole recipes that we are thinking about anyway, often without the provocation of something as blatant as this:

The bisexual mind is always apt to exploit and call attention to sexual misunderstandings, whether they involve Hulk Hogan

or HO-HOs

This is partially because we like to poke fun at either/or politics, wherebi sexuality is treated as a conclusion rather than a narrative and where bisexuals only exist when wasted in bars or as Republican senators.  (I’m looking at you Larry Craig!)

Another reason we like unintentional porn is because bis are often accused of not having clear intentions, i.e. being indecisive (see Sandwiches). A fag I met at a bar once told me that bisexuals “just can’t make up their minds” and I said, “I don’t have a problem making up my mind. For instance, I think you’re an asshole.”

Besides, there’s a difference between having desire for multiple people and not wanting to eat Jimmy Johns everyday for the rest of your life. (At least I think there is). Whatever “confusion” bisexuals may have toward trivial things like whether to eat the apple danish or the Danish Apple Store salesclerk, I assure you it has nothing to do with lack of intentionality. Unlike this, for example:

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2 responses

31 07 2008
shanarose

Watch out Pennsylvania, He’s aiming for your Big Beaver!

6 08 2008
#9: Meeting People Online « stuff bisexuals like

[…] lives, we can easily surf the ‘net without interrupting our search for unintentional porn (#7) or stories about gay sea urchins (#5), thus maximizing our multitasking (#8) super powers. When […]

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