#2 : Google

21 07 2008

Did you know Google will plan your next trip on public transportation accurately within five minutes? How about that Google allows you to search top academic databases without needing a university affiliation? Or that Google can text you defintions? Hell, Gmail powers the email account that lets me onto this blog. I frequently talk about Google anthropomorphically as in, “Well, Google told me I can be there in ten minutes”, or, “I’ll have to ask Google for the real statistics on that.”

I suspect that were Google really a person, Google would be bisexual. Which is why we love it. The infinite possibilites for experience available at your fingertips with Google mimicks the yearn of the bisexual. Google does it all. (Sound familiar?) And Google does it in such a clean, efficient way. Google’s page isn’t messy and distracting like Yahoo. Google gives you exactly what you want at that moment in time. It supports the frequency with which you may change your mind. Want your iheartmuff@gmail.com to send email from your penisiskeenest@gmail.com? Google will do it. (And god, I hope that’s no one’s email. Please don’t try it, bisexuals. I know you want to try anything once.)

Using Google to research this blog, I discovered that Google itself has a group of employees it proudly supports called the Gayglers. Not only does Google support its bisexual staff, it does so with a pun (see #1).

Google, when it’s legal here, will you marry me? If I’m still into that?

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4 responses

24 07 2008
#4 David Bowie « stuff bisexuals like

[…] David Bowie 24 07 2008 A Google search (#2) for “David Bowie Discography” helps us begin our quest for the undiscovered truth about […]

28 07 2008
#6: Sandwiches « stuff bisexuals like

[…] bisexuals, sandwiches are the perfect way to experiment. More than we already do. A Google (#3) search for threesome sex positions yields a wealth of possibilities for fun. (Once you turn your […]

31 08 2008
#13 The Wild West « stuff bisexuals like

[…] and shoot jaguars away from the soft flesh of their children or dig fence post holes.  From my extensive research these women of western wiles did all this while looking might […]

27 09 2008
#2B: Google « stuff bisexuals like

[…] 27 09 2008 We knew there was more to why bisexuals love Google! Google supports equality and does not support discrimination in […]

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