Brunch exemplifies all things sacred to the savvy bisexual. The word itself is a portmanteau; a word formed by combining both sounds and meanings from two or more words, thus sating our need to have column A and column B mashed up into a savory and novel column C. It is a little of breakfast and a little of lunch; thus glorifying our openness to take all the world has to offer and wrap it up with a tidy little noun. We get to network at brunch with our lover cum artistic collaborator cum cat sitter. Brunch denies no pleasure, thus allowing us to indulge in our inherent hedonism.
All of that, and we get to be pseudo intellectuals: quoting Oscar Wilde, while drinking before noon! Yes, brunch is any bona fide bi’s favorite way to begin anew after a night long romp.
“Brunch is the meal you eat when you’re too drunk to get up for breakfast.” – Oscar Wilde
The notion of a bisexual having it both ways in the bedroom is standard, but we’d rather the fun not stop there. If there’s any chance that we can have two favorites at once we’re going to take it, we’re gonna make our dreams come true, we’re doing it our way. We like breakfast, but we might not be up in time. We’re fans of lunch, but who has time to drop everything for a luxurious meal of crepes, eggs benedict and mimosas in the middle of the day? Well sure the French might, but they’re advanced. Being bisexual is practically standard over there! So in busy, puritan America we have to hunker down and have our both ways at one time.
Brunch also provides a nugget of opportunity to multitask. While we may look to be simply dining on mixed meats and sweets we are also discussing the current opportunities for dance parties, theater gatherings, or writing projects. We get to network with like minded insatiables, all while downing vodka in the name of being chic! If we seem excited it’s because we are! Brunch, people, it’s fantastic!
Not only can we plan our next yoga class/drinking session/book club during brunch, but we can be pseudo intellectuals while we’re at it. Something about the word and idea behind brunch makes it just pretensious enough for us to languish in our role playing skills and banter about modern jackassery, like the fact that Oscar Wilde liked brunch. Or there’s this impressive sounding tidbit, in France the actual policy is to say le grand petit déjeuner, or “big little lunch”, in order to keep Angloisms from soiling the language.
Not only is brunch for bisexuals, but for assholes, and that’s a good thing! We need able bodied patrons at the table two over to amuse us while we snort into our bellinis and try to think up more examples of a portmanteau.
