#9: Meeting People Online

6 08 2008

Since the dawn of the internet, since a complex of integrated computer systems sprung from the skull of Al Gore, people have been using this mysterious force for the purpose of what people do best: fuck, I mean, meet. Many groups of people enjoy the wonders of the internet (also known as teh intarwebz if you read too many macros) for various purposes. It is hardly the sole domain of bisexuals. Some groups also use the internet to network, but none do it with the flair and moxie of bisexuals.

Back in the day, this form of social networking was seen as dangerous, antisocial, or just plain weird, but bisexuals everywhere laughed in the face of social convention (what’s new?) and set forth into this brave new world. In the early days of meeting people online, I remember Oprah doing a show on a woman who met someone she thought was a man online and proceeded to marry him, only to discover he was actually a woman. This put the fear of the internet into the hearts of many straight folk everywhere, but not bisexuals. Hell, bisexuals failed to see the negative in this situation. Gender-bending spouse? Sign us up!

Bisexuals are all over networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, but we can also be found looking for friends and sex partners (“gender unimportant”) on Craig’s List. The first two allow us to change our orientation and what we’re looking for with a click of a drop-down menu. The latter is a sea of endless possibilities involving combinations of M and W.  Whether looking for a new friend or the love of our lives, we can easily surf the ‘net without interrupting our search for unintentional porn (#7) or stories about gay sea urchins (#5), thus maximizing our multitasking (#8) super powers. When looking for that light of our lives, we turn to True and eHarmony. Heh, just kidding about that last one.

No discussion of bisexuals and meeting people online can be complete without mentioning the Mecca of all bisexualitydom: OKCupid. This is one place where straight people are in the minority. Such a networking website couldn’t be more bi-friendly. With the option to search for guys and girls who like our gender, we could spend months combing this site for new friends. (Er, next up on SBL: when everyone knows everyone on OKC and the hilarious, triumphant, tragic outcomes.)  Practically everyone on this site is bisexual, kinky, polyamorous, and trolling for new acquaintances. But the kinksters, poly folk, and trolls need to get their own damn Stuff ______ Like blogs. With all the quizzes, questions, and tests on OKC, we bisexuals can thoroughly stalk our soon-to-be new friends before we even message them. Are you an Outrageous Polydactyl Madonna? Great! I’m a Simpering Hedgehog!

We love to gchat and text our new friends. We love to meet them for a game of Scrabble or perhaps some nachos and a whiskey at some shitty Irish theme bar. We love to discuss our new friends with our old friends, who we probably also met online. We love exchanging emails and discussing each other’s profiles and profile pictures. We just love meeting people online.